Addicted to...

Carla Bruni's 'Quelqu'un m'a dit'. It's simply beautiful. Also in the line of love presently are: music from Nagesh Kuknoor's film 'Dor' and Camille's 'Les ex' from the album 'Le sac des filles'.

A fencible thing to do...

Indian soldiers at the Indo-China border (Nathula).

Guilty...

...of leaving the past couple of days unaccounted for. Much happened and nothing happened. The news of a pull-out from Iraq by the British (only to inject them in Afghanistan?). That news went round and round in my head for some strange reason. I generally thought about it a lot and had a few things to say but it doesn't count much what I think in any case. Basically, laziness wins over purpose (or a lack of it really). A lot of time was spent alone. 'Aimless in Delhi' was the theme this weekend.

FIRC (French Information Resource Centre)

First, it was the FIRC, where I mostly go alone in any case. It was nice to have a Marcel Pagnol in lap and a cup of coffee on the table outside. This was Pagnol's Le château de ma mère, which I was not understanding as it was in French and I'm nowhere near reading books in French (have read it in English though and seen the film by Yves Robert). But continued looking at the words. People chatted around, I faded in and out of the surroundings and then realized the sun was on its way to the far west. Looked up and soaked-in the sunrays. It was mild and delightful- the kind of evening time when the rays just seems like a gentle spray, a drizzle, in which you could slowly get drenched. It was beautiful. Then looked back into the book and the words seems to look different with the light falling on the page directly (although it was still French and I understood as little as ever). Found a dry, shrivelled-up leaf on the table, its tiny veins running a maze all over. It' edges wore a deeper brown than the rest of it. Twirled it in my fingers for a bit and left it to the mercy of another breeze. Sometimes one notices so much and with so much lucidity. I wonder what doors of perception would have opened if I was brave like Huxely!

Safdurjung & Lodhi The next day I ended up in Safdurung's Tomb lamenting the falling apart of the monuments the walls of which now bear evidence of x's love for y. The lawns (which follow the Charbagh layout of gardens says a board) were full of lovers and their coquettish ways. They left very little space or independence to the eyes so one could simply gaze upwards on the minars of the tomb which have ends shaped like petals. Some 'petals' were sadly broken. The fountains were dry but you could imagine the splendour of their former life. The trees and the corridors of the tomb gave a sense of invisibleness to everyone but the couples who needed it the most. It was evening time and the winters-are-on-the-way-out kind of pleasant evening sun shined a brilliant yellow. On my way out read the board put up there and tried to learn it up just for kicks as had some time before meeting friends at Khan-market. It said: This tomb was built by Nawab Shahjudaullah, in memory of his father, Mir Muqdim Abul Mansur Khan, entitled Safdurjung, who was the governor of Oudh during the reign of the mughal emperor Mohammed Shah (1719-48), and prime minister during the reign of his successor, Ahmad Shah (1748-54). He died in 1754. With its high enclosure walls, the Charbagh layout of gardens, fountains and tanks, and the central domed mausolem, the tomb follows the fine example of Humayun's tomb. It has been aptly described as the last flicker in the lamp of mughal architecture in Delhi. Think I did learn that up pretty well! Was happy to see a board there in Braille as well, which I think is a rarity here generally. Crossed the road and then walked over to Lodhi gardens where I explored some areas for the very first time. Another tomb but no idea who built it or when and for whom. No board was found. Just parrots and pigeons. The parrots were in pairs mostly. Tried to mimic them imagined a confused look on their faces. Walked around till I got a call from friends wondering when I'd be there, so broke off from reading a board (another one!) with pictures of birds and a little on each of them. Felt illiterate and had a strong urge to make acquaintance with each of their kind!

A good weekend I think.

When waters get murky...

On 12th Feb ’07, Raymond Lafitte, a Swiss civil engineer appointed (in May 2005) as a neutral expert by the World Bank, gave his verdict settling the dispute between India and Pakistan over the Baglihar dam. On 5th Feb ’07, an Arbitration Tribunal comprising of Justice N.P. Singh and members N.S. Rao and Sudhir Narain gave its unanimous verdict on the dispute between two Indian States- Tamil Nadu and Karnataka- over the waters of river Cauvery, a long-standing dispute since 1807 I read in some report. I’m not too aware of the problems with any of these disputes but it seemed a strange coincidence that two States in the country and two countries in the Asian continent were embroiled in water related disputes. Fading into the background are Tamil Nadu’s other disputes over the waters of the Palar river with Andhra Pradesh and over the Periyar, the Sholayar and Aliyar rivers with Kerala. Punjab and Haryana (along with Rajasthan and Delhi too but I need to check) fought over the Sutlej-Yamuna canal link. While the verdict by Lafitte is being given a mixed welcome by both India and Pakistan, the verdict by the Tribunal looking into to Cauvery dispute seems to have created a rather strong sense of winning and losing. Tamil Nadu appears happy and Karnataka upset. Karnataka saw some violence (amidst the news of so much violence in all parts of the world one only grasps numbers that are high in terms of fatalities. Injuries and that to in seemingly low numbers by comparison leave you with hardly any memory of this aspect of the news unfortunately). Interestingly, one of the ways in which cable operators in Karnataka protested were to ban any movie in Tamil or having a Tamil star. Ties in with some earlier thoughts below on censorship by entities outside the ‘State’. If India & Pak remain happy with Lafitte’s verdict (apparently now even Sir Creek is being jointly surveyed by India & Pak for a mutually acceptable solution but more on that some other time), it should serve as a lesson for the States here in India to accept verdicts even when they might have some undesirable consequences for one of the parties. It’s always a problem keeping everyone happy when negotiating for someone has to give. All in all, a telling sign of the power of water. It may seem out of context but I was reminded of Tagore’s words from Gitanjali: …where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls…

Not quite an awakening but still...

A broken e-string. The remaining 5 rusty. Fingers even more so. Should have started earlier. Should have played more. Should not have given up. But never mind all that. Will re-string and restart tomorrow! Good night.

Je pense donc je suis...

Of disturbed minds...

The fragility of our freedom of speech and expression stands exposed every now and then. Most of us in our ordinary lives do not need (choose?) to test the limits of this freedom. Indeed, when the opportunity doesn’t arise for us to expand its boundaries or raise the pitch, we are secure in the imagination of its theoretical existence. Perhaps the insecurity is not entirely misplaced. But some feel the chains when they choose to move their limbs. And you hear faint whispers of voices struggling to be heard. It is mostly the ‘State’ that is perceived as the entity muting or muffling these voices. This is usually done rightly or wrongly in the name of reasonable restrictions of that freedom of speech. Just by way on info, as far as India is concerned, both- the freedom and its restriction- find their articulation and fountainhead in the Indian Constitution. Unfortunately, and as if the State was not enough, the domain of quelling voices has expanded and lent itself to even those outside the definition of ‘State’. Case in point- a recent film called Parzania by Rahul Dholakia. It is based on a true-life story of a 10 year old boy from a Parsi family missing since the Gujarat riots in 2002. The family still awaits any news of him. They hoped that people in Gujarat might see this film and have some news to offer. They hoped that the whole of Gujarat did actually see it. They are hoping still. The film is not being shown in Gujarat. People feared that Parzania carried the potential to cause communal disturbances. That it may be showing Gujarat in a false light. That more riots may follow. That at the very least, cinema theatres showing it may be targeted. That the pyromaniacs with the hobby of burning posters may not stop at just that. Theatres owners felt the heat before the fire. But what if they were offered security from the government? Well, the government could not avoid the riots in 2002. On the contrary there is evidence to argue they were silent partners-in-crime or even active perpetrators during the riots. And so it came to pass. Parzania- not in Gujarat. This is not the first instance of invisible chains on people’s freedom of speech and expression. Not in Gujarat in any case. Many films were taken off from cinemas in the past. Aamir Khan, for example, paid for going public with his ideas on the Narmada dam displacing villagers. Gujaratis said yes to the dam and no to his movies. His posters were burnt and films had to be taken off from all over the State. The government did not ban Parzania. The people did. For films disturb them. But reality does not.

Jalapahar to Darj...

Slightly slain, a lingering pain. For you are gone, yet you remain.

A lovely evening...

It happened as planned: the walk (a little less than the planned 'jog'!), then dinner with old friends (was meant to be only one but the table was pleasantly crowded.)

And somewhere in the middle of driving around today, Nelson hummed... Some other world has all the sunshine...

Caught up with old times. Pune days! Oh! Those days! A brilliant daze! Free spirits roaming the earth. Empty pockets! Feeling rich! Friends, bikes, roads and places- we mixed freely... End-goal in life then seemed aligned with Pope's lines I still can remember from school days: Thus let me live, unseen, unknown; Thus unlamented let me die; Steal from the world, and not a stone Tell where I lie. I reminisce, therefore I am...

Keep trying!

A million, nay, billion phone calls. As many emails. Work! Where art thou!? Looking forward to a read 'n a jog 'n then dinner later tonight with an old friend from Bombay.

Just a cloudy evening in Gangtok...

Stare not into the distance. Dare not make its acquaintance, or even of the corner.

It will bring you in its fold itself,

a choice of time and manner.

Minor indications of impending summer days...

The sidewalks are lined up with watermelons and tender green coconuts... What else does it mean I ask!? Oh! Swimming days are not far behind hopefully!

Evening falls...

Dropped me mum to the hanuman temple in CP (have to see the crowd to believe it on Tuesdays!) and dashed off to pick up S to go for a walk at the Lodhi Garden. Two of her friends/colleagues came along. A beautiful evening, lovely flowers and an itch to break into a jog (S wearing jeans so had to stick to a walk!). Then another dash was made to the library at FIRC (French Info Research Centre) to return their movies. Reached just in time and luckily managed to pick up two more: ‘The Keys to the House’ (an Italian film) and ‘Mais Ou Et Donc Ornicar’ (Evidently French! It’s actually a mnemonic used by school children in France to remember coordinating conjunctions). Both sound promising but let’s see. Drove around some more to pick up mum. All along was thinking how lovely it is to drive in some parts of Delhi. It was one of those days when I could drive on and on. Not much traffic. No particular hurry. A great time to reflect. Waited for some twenty minutes before deciding to grab a coffee and just when it was bought- mum appeared. A voice in head suggests giving up coffee for a while. And then on the way back the romance with the Delhi roads died. A terrible jam. 15 mins stretched to 45. Cars everywhere. We chatted of everything and nothing. No mood to reflect now but random thoughts of how I learnt to drive filtered in. I may have been about 9 or 10 at the time, spending my vacations in the company of my dad's drivers mostly. Ergo, I was driving their cars and driving them mad! One of them, I remember, talked of interesting things (seemed interesting at the time at least). He said GOD was called so because he was the Generator Operator and Destroyer! Hmmm. Then another time when in all earnestness I said drinking is bad he explained the meaning of rum- it was ‘Regular Use Medicine’! For those who have seen the Old Monk XXX bottle, his take was that the ‘xxx’ meant you should have it once in thirty days. He seemed to have found some favour with the doctor and perhaps had it once every 30 mins! The jam also reminded of how a city is so much like a person. It has some qualities and some failings. Thought why I was in Delhi and where I’d like to be. Some small village in the mountains perhaps. Or in the middle of nowhere in my desert land. All perhaps when I’m older. For now I need the city. But I still detest the traffic jams! Then home and dinner and now to some reading before I finally call it a night. Sophie’s Word beckons. Had made a half-baked promise to sleep soon and wake up early. But look at the time. God help me!

Let there be light... and colour...

Too few words, a different meaning. Now silence speaks, of its leaning. In small steps backwards, in moments unfolding. Us away, will it be weaning. This from a temple near Darjeeling.

And today begins... (at 1330hrs!?)

From a random opening of Elliot's Wasteland (& other poems)... This from the IVth of Ash Wednesday:

But the fountain sprang up and the bird sang down

Redeem the time, redeem the dream

the token of the word unheard, unspoken

Till the wind shake a thousand whispers from the yew

And after this our exile

A promising day. Hope to work on my fitness. If only I can hold on to that thought!

Good fences make good neighbours...

And shoddy phones-cameras make shoddy snaps!

A new beginning...

This is a fresh start. Some old chapters closed and finding some space before the next one opens up. For today, just hope to sleep well!