Friday 23 March 2007

Vous qui passez sans me voir...

It lingers. It floats. And it recedes just when I think it's settling down... Thank God I made it for Carmen & David's concert!

The Forgiveness Project

Shree came over today. We met after a couple of years I think. Chatted for a couple of hours as there was lots to catch up on the time in-between. He mentioned the Forgiveness Project I'm not sure in what context though now. But it stuck in my mind. Especially given the relevance of the word in my life. In everyone's life perhaps.

Thursday 22 March 2007

Raat yun dil mein teri...

Found the Nayra Noor rendition of this Faiz poem. Went back years. To the times of Dhoop Kinare and other Pakistani serials. They were so far ahead and so much more brilliant then the trash on Indian channels now. The jarring music- dhayen dhayen- with the camera panning violently in and out of the faces of the various non-actors in the present-day hindi serials gives me such a headache. Mais maintenant! Raat yun dil mein teri...

Wednesday 21 March 2007

4 Seasons in 1 Day!

Delhi was really like that today. The hard sun beating down on the roads. Then the rain. A prelude to summer. And if you turned back, perhaps the end of winter somewhere in the distance. The sun lit up the streets and the trees. As if God just tweaked the display controls. The rain settled the dust. And a simultaneous occurrence of the two I have seldom seen! It was quite warm and the rain drops gleamed in the sun rays filtered partly by the trees that lined up the sidewalks and partly by the rain itself. Oh! What a beautiful day! A perfect reflection of what was going on inside my head- anguish, content, love, dislike, anxiety and excitement all at once. And I thought, pain is ok. Pain is good. As long as you try to understand what it's trying to tell you. PS: Someone told me there was some hail today as well!

Monday 19 March 2007

Where's my Faiz!?

Can't seem to find it! Very irritated as wanted to read something from it. It went something on the lines of: Dil rahine ghame jahaan hai aaj... cannot remember the lines and can't find my book! These things are torture. But I am remembering these lines now:

Raat yun dil mein teri khoyi hui yaad aayi,
Jaise veeraane mein chupke se bahaar aa jaye,
Jaise sehraaon mein haulay se chale baad-e-naseem,
Jaise beemaar ko be-wajh quraar aa jaaye.

Last night your lost memories made their way to my heart,
As if it was spring in a desolate land,
A soft breeze on the desert sands,
An impulsive comfort to an ailing heart.

Have been writing a wee bit more often than I actually put things up here.

Heard of Woolmer's death today and was very upset. Reminded of Escobar. And the El-Salvador and Honduras football wars. And Orwell saying sport is 'war minus the shooting'. Also thought of the recent clashes in Italy in Feb earlier this year when a policeman died in the post match riots there. I wonder whether it’s just sport. People will find any excuse for madness...

Saturday 17 March 2007

A weekend unfolds...

Just felt like saying... Between the stirrup and the ground, I 'many things' sought and I 'some things' found.

Wednesday 14 March 2007

Can't seem to read a single book at a time. Always end up with about 3 at my bedside. Then then don't end up finishing any! Two days back I went to a bookshop at Khan Market (Genius Books in the back-lane) which is shutting down and giving a 25% off on every book. Had the most stressful time of my life going through each and every bookrack knowing fully well I won't be able to buy anything. Then thought about it most of the night and returned the next day again and finally got a few. Some kind of a disorder I think!

Monday 12 March 2007

Every Now & Then

It would be nice If my voice you could heed. If you could be here In my times of need. But a voice then I hear Of reason perhaps You need no one You needn’t relapse. In shades of dependence On dependable friends. For the roads are for you And so are the bends. We could walk together Or alone just as well. A ‘hello’ is a story But so is ‘farewell’!

Wish the world offered no such pictures...

You turn the wheels
for meagre meals.
You suffer your fate
and bear the weight.
But you deserve a life
of those you carry.
of those who pass
Or those who tarry.

One of the biggest lie...

...that people usually tell themselves is that their parents loved them. And that their parents are/were infalliable. I read this somewhere and now I wonder sometimes if my childhood was too good to be true. We suspect that which gives us nothing to be suspicious of. But now, as an adult, I think we are all responsible for our actions and the answers to these questions do not really matter. You have to do your own thinking. And choose your own way of life. And accept that everyone is human... including your parents.

There may be a context to all this one might think. Perhaps there is.

Wednesday 7 March 2007

Silence...

...this side has been for many reasons. Hmmm, like too many things to write about and hence a block, caught up with other stuff, too much on my mind but mostly I think it is a pattern where I start something with a lot of enthausism and then it fades off... It's the last one I'm concerned about and should work on breaking patterns. Reminded of Simon 'n Garfunkel's 'Patterns':

...Like the color of my skin,
Or the day that I grow old,
My life is made of patterns
That can scarcely be controlled.

Oh but I did swim. And saw 'Mais Ou Et Donc Ornicar' and 'The Keys to the House'. And today it was 'The Secret Life of Words' at the IHC. Touching. All of them but more so the Keys and Secret Life.

Sunday 4 March 2007

Holi!!!

And a very happy one at that! Happy Holi to all the world! In other news: The pool opened yesterday. Was the first (and only) one to swim yesterday and today. The nip's not quite quit the air (or water) I say!!! But worth the swim anyway!

Thursday 1 March 2007

Tsongmo Lake, Sikkim...

Where mists and fogs in ghostly bands, Vague, dim, moon-clothed in spectral light; Drift in from far-off haunted lands, Across the silences of night. (From Lake Lyrics and Other Poems by William Wilfred Campbell.)